It’s Sunday, which means for me, the worstest day of the week. After three days of out-patient therapy, after getting a new p-doc, and medications, after rebooting my system and getting my head back on straight, I still hate Sundays.
I can have amazing weeks, and amazing Saturdays, but Sunday rolls around and none of it matters. Sundays are for laundry, and xanax. Which sounds like a wonderful combination.
It’s not.
Sundays always rock me to core. Sundays are spent holding my breath and fighting back tears that threaten to come for no reason other than.. it’s Sunday. Even with therarpy, medication and distractions, Sunday is 24 hours I can personally do without.
I’ve had more than a few therapist in my life, and have spent hours finding ways to cope with my life, my illness, and nobody can tell me why the 24 hours between Saturday and Monday are hell on Earth for me.
SO, just for giggles, let’s recap my week.
Monday my dealership made national news. You would not believe the people out there who have left comments across the internet blaming US for the fact that four 2011 Camaros were stolen. Blame the victim.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I spent in out-patient therapy after my latest breakdown and hospital visit. I can’t and won’t go into my days there. If you ask me what I learned, I’ll tell you three things. 1) I’m not the craziest person in the world, or even the most fucked up. 2) There are people out there who have bigger obstacles to overcome than me. 3) Stay on my medication.
Friday was back to work, and finally getting all my medication from the pharmacy. At $166.00 a pop, (after insurance) I may have to give up food for my drugs and forget about my dream shoes altogether. Doesn’t matter how hawt those shoes are if I’m too crazy to wear them anywhere. They won’t let you have rockin stilettos in the nut house. Oh the choices and sacrifices we make.
Yesterday I took the girls to a almost-nearby public pool. Sure it’s about 30 miles away, but here is where we spent our afternoon yesterday, and will probably spend this afternoon there too. Nothing like sun and a pool to chase away the Sunday yucks.
God willing my writing muse will return. Just get through today, tomorrow back to work and it’s going to be a busy week which will help.
HUGS darlin’. Just Great Big HUGS. Because we all need them from time to time.
lceel recently posted..Monday Meanders 7-18
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Becky Reply:
July 18th, 2011 at 11:16 am
@lceel, Thanks Hon, Sometimes we all just need a hug….a lot of them.
Becky recently posted..Sundays suck and I can’t tell you why, basically because I don’t know.
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Sundays were made to sit on your (in my case FAT) ass and do nothing but watch, ( sleep thru ) the NASCAR race! Enjoying the left over pizza from Friday night and listening ( ignoring ) someone bitch at me about doing something constructive around here! Ok, I’ll make some pizza rolls for ya princess, and maybe a load of dishes IF your lucky and my favorite driver is out of the race.
But the guy above is right, sometimes ya just need a / receive a hug, so I got one or some for ya, anytime!
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Becky Reply:
July 19th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
@Racin Lover, I don’t have cable at the house, so I can’t watch Nascar, I can listen to it on the radio, but it’s not the same. Pizza better be fresh, I don’t do cold pizza, never have.
This isn’t about being bored, or lack of things to do, this is just Sundays, for whatever reason, emotionally suck for me.
Becky recently posted..Sundays suck and I can’t tell you why, basically because I don’t know.
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Hang in there kiddo. Sending big hugs from across the state.
Laci recently posted..Stop the Barking!
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Becky Reply:
July 21st, 2011 at 9:17 am
@Laci,
Thanks Kiddo, unfortunately, it will get worse before it gets better.
Becky recently posted..Sundays suck and I can’t tell you why, basically because I don’t know.
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Becky,
I am just now getting caught up with you. Sundays suck around here too. I always feel somehow forgotten on Sundays. No one is around to chat with and it seems like I live in a vacuum of nothingness on those days. Glad you are doing better. If you need to talk, I am here.
Tawnya recently posted..Trying To Get Back To Normal
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Becky Reply:
August 6th, 2011 at 12:49 pm
@Tawnya, Better late than never. You found the words I couldn’t.. I feel forgotten, I feel disconnected, even if I go out and try to do something, I’m still disconnected from everyone. And with the girls being gone so much this summer it’s been worse… but they will be back soon enough and I’ll miss the quiet of an empty house.
Becky recently posted..Turning off the bitch switch, and going off in search of the funny.
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[...] and I was home doing everything I could to forget exactly what day it was. The fact that it was Sunday didn’t help. I had expected the darkness to swallow me, to just take me away. The girls [...]