I don’t know why I feel the need to write about my disorder here. After all, mental illness is still taboo and there is a certain stigma to it. Mental illness is not sexy, and it doesn’t sell and I promise you my stats do not increase because of it. And yet, I write about it. So much for world domination. Besides, I think Dooce cornered that market with her breakdown and three-day stint in the psych ward. Depression is acceptable if it comes with a baby, not so much if it comes with mania.
So, I’m going to let it go. As if it really is that easy. I’m just done writing about it here, for a while. So. *Ahem* moving on.
I think I put my foot in it yesterday, with a comment I left on a blog post. If I didn’t piss of people there, I am pretty sure I will here. That’s just how I roll. (Does anyone use that phrase anymore?)
Yesterday, I was rolling through my Google Reader when I came across this story Liz of Maybe Baby Maybe Not posted at BlogHer. Go read it, it’s a great story. But for the purposes of this blog post, I’ll recap it for you. Guy goes into bagel place, young couple with young kids come in. Kids are all over the place, parents are oblivious. Older gentleman, puts parents in their place. It’s worth the read… honestly.
The comments that were there were in support of the parents. *blink blink* *scratching head looking all kinds of WTF?* Maybe I’m out of line, but one comment went so far as to say “Parenting is hard and in the end, I wouldn’t want someone embarrassing me so I wouldn’t do it them.” Wait, WHAT? Allow these children to assault (Ok, assault may be a bit too harsh, but the children were ‘driving’ their trucks all over the place bumping into other patrons) other patrons, because we don’t want to embarrass them? Are you kidding me? Under absolutely ZERO circumstances is it ever acceptable for anyone, including a child, to hit another person with anything. Since these parents seem to think that that is perfectly acceptable behavior, I’m sure they wouldn’t care if I bumped into them as I walked by.
Another comment was ‘What if these were special needs children?”
Again I say, there is a certain level of respect due to everyone, and a certain level of behavior expected in public with some exceptions being made. . Children can be taught how to behave in public If they can not sit in their seats, they sure can at least play close by the parents. I understand that kids will be kids and that there are children with special needs, but again, the other patrons have expectations which I am sure include but are not limited to ‘enjoying a bagel without being assaulted by a child.” Seems pretty reasonable to me.
I will forgive a whole lot when it comes to kids, if the parents are attempting to be parents and making an attempt to keep their kids from bothering other patrons. I will excuse and ignore temper tantrums, yelling and screaming, I will even excuse running around their table. I don’t even care if your kid comes over and says Hi to me, I’ll engage them in a conversation. But I will also be looking for you as their parent to see if you even know or care where your child is.
I didn’t read it because comments like that would give me a stroke. I cannot stand parents who don’t discipline their kids. It’s infuriating. My children wouldn’t dare behave that way ever, especially in public. They know they’d be in serious shit if they did.
It’s absolutely ridiculous that people would offer excuses. There are standards of behavior. Standards that everyone, children and adults, must live up to in polite society. For parents like these idiots to pretend there aren’t is absolutely pathetic.
God! I didn’t even read it and I’m all fired up!
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Becky Reply:
February 22nd, 2012 at 1:58 pm
@Gucci Mama, There was one mother who said “What if they were special needs kids?” and I said, even then there is a certain basic level of public behavior that is expected and hitting people with cars in not it.
I haven’t been back yet to see how pissed of they all are at me but it’s ridiculous how some people just ignore their kids because they don’t want to discipline them.
UGH.
Becky recently posted..I Get My Sanity Back, Only to Lose My Mind by Taking On Comments over at BlogHer
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Becky Reply:
February 22nd, 2012 at 2:04 pm
@Gucci Mama, Apparently they don’t hate me as much as I thought they might.
Becky recently posted..I Get My Sanity Back, Only to Lose My Mind by Taking On Comments over at BlogHer
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I’ve been sort of stalking around your blog for the last week or so. We just recently became friends on FB and I don’t think we’ve interacted much, but I can certainly empathize with a lot of your posts here, not sure why it was this one that drove me to comment but here goes…
I have a very strict policy when it comes to the behavior of my children in public. STRICT. My kids are not perfect, but I have had numerous strangers, waiters and waitresses compliment my children on their behavior. I do NOT allow toys to go into any store or restaurant. The exception being a handheld nintendo DS or gameboy – ON MUTE for my youngest (8 years old) who might get bored if the grown ups tend to talk for a long time after dinner or something.
My children have been raised that while they are out in public they are to be considerate of EVERYONE else in the establishment because the world does not revolve around them and they need to learn to be considerate of others.
Special needs, ADHD, Asberger’s (my brother has it) – doesn’t matter. We all scream we want these kids to “feel normal” and then people leap up to make excuses. Regardless of whatever the special needs are, all children need to be taught to think OUTSIDE of themselves and be considerate of others.
Same note – I have zero respect for parents who cause a big scene disciplining their kids in public. You don’t want your kids making a disturbance, don’t teach them that it’s okay to do so just because YOU are the one doing it. All my disciplining is done in private and my kids know if they get “the look” at the restaurant then they are probably going to get more than a “look” when we get home.
I didn’t drop over to the other post because my blood pressure is up just reading this. Sorry for the rant on your blog. This kind of crap infuriates me.
AmyD recently posted..The Thrill of the Chase
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Becky Reply:
February 22nd, 2012 at 2:33 pm
@AmyD, I am so glad you came out of hiding! While I don’t comment over at your place (I will now!) I was there through Ethan’s ordeal.
I’m with you, my kids have been taught from a very young age how to behave in public. I have always been able to take them to McDonald’s or a high end place for dinner and never worried.
There have been occasions I have told my youngest (12) to put her hands in her pockets while we grocery shopped but that was because that child will pick up everything on the shelf to look at it. (I don’t get it either).
Please do not excuse bad behavior because ‘Boys will be boys.” or “She’s such a drama queen” parents are supposed to be parents, parent your kids.
I’m glad you left a comment, and please don’t feel bad about a rant, I encourage people to voice their opinions here no matter what it is.
Becky recently posted..I Get My Sanity Back, Only to Lose My Mind by Taking On Comments over at BlogHer
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AmyD Reply:
February 22nd, 2012 at 3:15 pm
@Becky, Agreed. Totally. Instead of pockets I make my kids put one hand on the cart, my purse OR hold my hand. I’m always afraid one of my kids will have their hands in their pockets, trip and not pull their hands out in time to break the fall. See… neurotic. LOL
But, I agree. There is NEVER an excuse to let your kid run a toy truck or any toy all over a store/restaurant harassing the other patrons, if YOU wouldn’t do it, then why let your kid do it? And, if it is THAT important to for your kid to play – take him/her to a damned playground where it’s APPROPRIATE to do so.
AmyD recently posted..Passports to Fun
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I read that post and stepped away from the computer because I wasn’t in the bagel shop but I was LIVID at the so called parents who allowed their children to behave in such a way. Oh I would have been all over mine like white on rice for such behavior and I DO have a child with bipolar among other things. He STILL knew how to behave in public. I am not too sure I would not have contacted children’s services on the parents for their apparent lack of attention to the children. Would they have noticed if someone had taken a child?? At that point one would have to wonder would other patrons have even bothered to point it out * I know bad thought but I mean really*. I applaud that man for his choice in how to react and don’t feel one damn bit sorry for the parents who got embarrassed they should have been embarrassed BEFORE he came to sit with them.
Angel recently posted..TTUT:Randomosity at it’s finest!!!
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Becky Reply:
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:42 pm
@Angel, The post didn’t upset me nearly as much as the comments making excuses for the parents. Excuse my language here, but where the hell did our balls go? Why is it now a cardinal sin to A)defend yourself, even against a child, and B)tell the parents if they don’t want to parent their kids you will?
And when did discipline become taboo? That’s what gets me the most. When did we give up our backbone and stop being parents?
Becky recently posted..I Get My Sanity Back, Only to Lose My Mind by Taking On Comments over at BlogHer
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I completely agree with you that the parents should have made an effort to keep the kids under control (I didn’t read the article). Like you said, if I see you try, then I can empathize. Did you read this article on BlogHer about how parenting isn’t hard? I’ll try to find it when BlogHer is loading correctly on my comp. TKS for sharing your 2 cents.
Lisa recently posted..Showing and teaching compassion
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Becky Reply:
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:00 pm
@Lisa, I wrote this post about how Parenting is Only as Hard as You Make it.. http://www.msbatman.com/tag/parenting-is-only-as-hard-as-you-make-it/
about parents who complain raising kids is difficult but only because they have micromanaged every minute of their kids lives.
I will ignore a lot of behavior by kids if I see their parents are trying. We all have had those days when it would be easy to take a monkey out for ice cream than our kids… I get that. But if you’re ignoring them…
Becky recently posted..I Get My Sanity Back, Only to Lose My Mind by Taking On Comments over at BlogHer
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I was in a FroYo place a couple of weeks ago and there was a table of 2 Junior League (yes, I’m labeling.. sue me) moms with their combined 5 kids. The kids were WILD and running thru the place and yes, while it’s kid friendly, even the owner said something to the moms about the kids running in the store. And still they ran. And ran. And ran. While the moms sat there and talked completely oblivious to their own kids. Really?! Is your perch so fricking high that you don’t think even an attempt at parenting is justified?
Girl, don’t get me started. My kids are far from perfect but they know damn well that if they pull that, I will (and have) box up our meal and get it to go.
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Becky Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
@Kristen Daukas, I have walked out of a grocery store, leaving the cart in the middle of the isle and taken my kids home b/c they couldn’t behave. I have also threatened to dance and sing at the top of my lungs “I Wear Purple Bloomers” if the didn’t stop acting like monkeys on a 2 hour pass from the zoo.
But at food establishments where they are expected to sit in seats? I never have a problem. May have something to do with the Gorilla tape…
Becky recently posted..I am Known For My Shoes, but I Never Expected This
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