|
|
By MsBatman, on  August 13th, 2010 Brian has been working a lot of hours at his new store. He’s the new store manager, he’s a manager short, and it’s been a 100-bazillion degrees outside with 150% humidity. It’s not exactly a vacation for him.
Last night I new he had been really busy and had had a pretty rough day. So, on his way home from work I called him…
B: Hey, what’s up?
Me: Nothing much, just wanted to call and say I love you.
B: What’s that? I couldn’t hear you.
Me: Uh, Just wanted to say I love you….
B: I’m sorry Sweetie, you’re cutting out. What did you say?
By now, the girls have heard my conversation and are standing there listening, and laughing…
Me: Well, hell, this started out cute and sweet, now it’s just creepy and awkward… I called to say I love you.
Tate: AAAWWWWWWW how sweet?!?!
Newt: Yeah, this isn’t awkward at all.
B: What did you say? I still can’t hear you.
Me: Never mind. I’ll just text you.
B: Oh, well, ok, I’m just trying to get home. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.
Sigh
By MsBatman, on August 7th, 2010 I sit here this morning, watching Sean Penn in Milk. What an amazing story. Thirty plus years ago he fought for gay rights, for gay equality. A fight that continues still today.
During the Presidential election the topic of same sex marriage was debated by the VP candidates. A topic they both agreed on. They both opposed it.
Where did our tolerance go? Not just for gay and lesbians, but for everyone? We as a people are losing our tolerance. We’ve adapted a “My way or the highway” mentality, passing judgment on people who are different than we are.
Prop 8 was just overturned, declared unconstitutional. Government is still trying to deny people civil rights, basic civil rights.
My question during the Presidential debate was “Why not?”
Why are people in this day and age being told, by our government that their relationship will not be recognized? Again I have to ask “Why not?”
Who will actually be hurt by allowing same sex marriages? Allowing them won’t take away anything from traditional man/woman marriages. There will be no rights lost, no ‘benefits’ lost. There will be no harm done. It will have no adverse effect on existing or future marriages of heterosexual couples.
So, again, I ask, Why Not. What is the reason for this non-support? On what is that aversion based? What are the reasons why they chose to not recognize these unions between two people?
Is it a religious objection? Fine, you’re allowed your own personal beliefs and objections, but when it infringes on other people’s rights, (and you can dictate nationwide policy and law) then that’s playing God. There is that whole Separation of Church and State. Government can not dictate religious beliefs, so why should religion be allowed to dictate policies and law?
“They will be allowed the same civil liberties as heterosexual couples.” Well, not really. Will they be covered on each other’s health insurance? Will they be allowed to make life or death decisions in the event the other is incapable? Will their commitment be recognized in the same way a heterosexual marriage will be?
If their civil liberties will not be interfered with by the government, (as the candidates claim), then why are they (same sex couples) not being allowed to marry? If they will be given the same treatment, then technically the only thing the government is withholding is the marriage certificate.
Why is that the threshold the government chooses not to cross? Why walk right up to that line and stop just short of the goal? Again, I ask Why Not? Who loses by allowing same sex marriages?
Bumper asked me during our conversation on this topic, what is the one thing heterosexual couples can do that same sex couples can not? Reproduce. But reproduction can not be the defining factor in who is allowed to marry and who isn’t. After all there are heterosexual couples who can not reproduce. If reproduction is the defining factor, does that mean couples have to produce an heir in order to marry? That’s sort of putting the horse before the cart. And if reproduction is the defining factor then couples who are unable to have children, who suffer with infertility will not be allowed to marry and therefore their rights are now being revoked due to a medical issue. Yes, that is dramatic and far reaching but it’s a logical progression of thought carried out to the dramatic degree.
Again, it comes down to Why Not? What is the reason the government feels it is their right to step in and interfere in people’s pursuit of happiness? If they have already made that level of commitment to each other, why keep the marriage certificate (and the rights afforded married couples) from them? If it’s truly just a piece of paper, then give it to them already. But we all know, it’s not just a piece of paper.
Why not? Who gets hurt by allowing same sex marriages? There is no legal basis, just personal, and maybe even religious objections. Unless of course I’m missing something entirely (which is possible).
Granted. we’ve made progress since Harvey Milk was elected to office in the 70′s. But there is still progress to be made.
A lot of progress.
The intolerance isn’t limited to gays and lesbians. We as a people have grown intolerable of anyone who differs from us. I experienced this first hand on the interwebs just last week. I was just shy of being told to Hush because I dared to ask a question and hold a belief that differed from someone else. She wanted my voice silenced because she could not tolerate a difference of opinion. She claimed she wanted Elizabeth Hasselbeck to “hush” because she sounded like an idiot. So, Elizabeth should be silenced because of a difference in intelligence levels? So, now, only ‘smart’ people are allowed to have their opinion heard?
Intolerable.
Maybe I want to live in Eutopia, where ‘to each his own’ is the law of the land. Live and let live. Where men are created equal. I just don’t know where’s the harm in letting people live their own life how they want to live their own life? Who am I, who are you, who’s the government to step in and tell people how to live, who to love, what to be?
By MsBatman, on July 23rd, 2010 *ahem* Hello?
Anyone here?
I mean, besides me.
I wouldn’t blame you for being gone. I can’t expect you to be here when I’m not here. And let’s face it, I haven’t been here.
But that’s obvious.
It’s just that so many things have been happening.
Real life things.
And while you would think there would be plenty to write about (and Oh Em Gee there is plenty to write about), a lot of it isn’t my stuff to write about.
I mean there are douchebags out there that I would enjoy entirely too much calling out on my blog but since their douchebaggery doesn’t directly effect me (just people I love) I don’t have the right to air that dirty laundry here no matter how entertaining (and satisfying) it would be. All I will say here is this.. Calling someone a bitch on FB (or anywhere) is not conducive to convincing them you still love them and miss them.
There are good real life things going on too. Those I *can* write about. Scooter raced at the County Fair Motorcross race last weekend and won! He won a 1st place trophy and $25 holeshot. The $25 was a gift card to a local Harley-Davidson shop. I mean, what 15 year old doesn’t need something from Harley-Davidson? Besides, $25 would probably only get him a key ring… or maybe a hat. Thanks race sponsors.
Took the kids to the zoo this summer. The boys (Bo-16, and Scooter-15) spent the day looking at the exotic creatures known as teenage girls. They did this from the ice cream shop. In the shade. Eating ice cream. While the rest of us trudged around the zoo in the heat looking at animals who were smart enough to stay out of the sun.
Wow, I guess that’s why I’m not here very often… I don’t have much to say. OR maybe if I came by and posted every day I’d be a better writer. hmmmm
Anywho… you can always find me on Twitter or Facebook since I’m obviously not here nearly enough…..
Until next time.
Whenever that will be.
By MsBatman, on July 8th, 2010 
For my birthday, Brian Poison’d me.
By MsBatman, on July 3rd, 2010  Yes, today is my birthday. I’m legal today. Twice. I’ve been able to legally drink now for exactly half my life. You’d think I’d be really good at it. Some days I’m better than others. Maybe I need more practice.
Anyhoo… Brian’s mom took me and the girls shopping. They needed new swim suits. When you’re 7, 11, and 13 the most traumatic thing to happen while shopping for a swim suit is they don’t have the colors you want in your size, so you pick another color. At those ages bright colors are great. Bold patterns are awesome, and the more skin you can show the better the swim suit.
When you get to be my age swim suit shopping just hammers home the truth that I am no longer as young or as skinny as I used to be. And all the swim suits that have enough material to cover up all my lumps and bumps have patterns on them as big as Texas. Find a print I like? Great I have rolls and bulges and lumps and bumps sticking out over the top and from the bottom and everywhere fat can ooze out of the suit. While a wet suit would cover all that I want covered, it’s pretty inappropriate for a back yard pool.
So, today I learned that I have to accept I am no longer as young and as skinny as I want to be, and probably never will be again. There is something to be said when my 13 year old daughter can now wear the mini skirts I was wearing just two short years ago. Time to finally let go of the death grip I’ve had on my youth and come to terms with the fact that well….. I’m 40 (plus)
By MsBatman, on June 27th, 2010 Today, on my way home I was listening to my favorite afternoon, take-my-mind-off-the-ever-loving-idiotic drivers all around me in the rush-to-get-somewhere-more-important-than-where-you’re-going traffic radio talk show. (That has got to be the most descriptive, most run on over use of adjectives ever in a sentence. This is a close second.)
Anyhoo, on my way home the radio host asked his listeners a question he genuinely wanted the answer to. He is 45, on his 2nd marriage and has a 5 year old daughter who is the most beautiful little girl in the entire world. She is his entire world. (Wonder what his wife has to say about that.) He’s obsessed with her (His words not mine). He went on to explain that he is utterly terrified to let this precious most beautiful little girl of his out into their fenced back yard to play by herself. There are 150 children abducted by strangers every year, and he is convinced that she is one of those 150. That anyone who laid eyes on her would want to snatch her away. He admitted to going so far as to sit in the back yard with her, watching her play, eating his dinner, with his firearm on his side, hand almost on the gun.
His question? Am I a freak to be this concerned and over protective?
Uh, dude, I don’t know that freak is the right word. Over protective is an understatement at best. I mean who sits out there with their child fully armed, afraid that someone is going to jump your 5 foot fence? Or just open the gate and take their kid? You are not just a helicopter parent; you haven’t yet cut the umbilical cord.
One of the callers actually agreed with him, and went so far as to say her daughter could not go to her friends’ houses if the parents allowed the children to play outside in their fenced yard without being out there with them the entire time.
I get that we grew up in a different time. We were blissfully unaware of the dangers around us. We were allowed a childhood free of worry and evil. We were out the door right after breakfast, caught lunch where/when we could, and were back home for dinner and back out the door until it was dark.
And no one ever took us.
We learned how to solve problems, we learned how to get out of a jam, we caused trouble, were up to no good, and solved our own trouble praying that our parents never found out what we had been up to that day. We learned how to settle arguments, we learned how to appreciate difference of opinions, we learned how to forgive and forget. We learned how to be responsible for ourselves, and to ourselves. We learned the fine art of negotiation and trade agreements. We learned how to live in the world around us without fear.
Kids today have been taught to fear everyone they see. They’ve been taught every stranger is dangerous; everyone is out to hurt them or take them. They have lost their imagination because they aren’t allowed to exercise it or even use it. Out of fear that rules this world we live in, our children are missing out on some very important life lessons that only they could learn on their own. Lessons that would serve them well in their adult life.
I was never a helicopter parent. I can tell you that at every single family gathering the second the car doors were open the kids were off and gone if they could walk, if not there was always someone willing to pick them up and take them around. There were times I wouldn’t see them again until it was time to eat. They were off playing with cousins, learning the same lessons I learned.
Even at a family gathering at a city park, the kids ran free and nobody took them. Even now, the girls are allowed to ride their bikes to the city park or the library by themselves without me hovering. They go almost every day and they come home every time they go.
I guess what I’m asking is, who’s the ‘freak’ here. Is he the freak for hovering over his daughter and watching her every minute of every day, or am I the freak for not hovering, and allowing my children to ride to town without me there every minute of every day?
By MsBatman, on June 26th, 2010  In a week I will put another year between me and 40. My birthdays don’t bother me so much. Can’t stop them from coming. It’s just another year I’ve survived.
I was 4 years old when I finally figured out when my mother’s birthday was. I was proud as punch that I knew that “Today is my mom’s birthday”. I told everyone in church that day that it was her birthday. Of course, just because I knew what day it was, I had no idea how old she was. So, when someone asked me that inevitable question “How old is she?”, instead of admitting I didn’t know, I just sort of guessed. To me, at 5, everyone lived to be 100. Nice even round number. In the scheme of things, and in relation to 100…. well…uh, 40 wasn’t that old or that big of a number. I proudly told everyone who asked, “She’s 40 years old!” (sorry Mom)
She was 24. She wouldn’t be 40 until I was 21.
Oops.
My mom married young and had us kids young. Growing up I wanted to be just like her. Until i got closer to the age she was when she married my dad. As I approached that age, I realized there was no way I was ready to get married and have a child. I was too young. I would be 4 years older before I got married, and two years beyond that when I had my son. Even then, I was pretty sure I was too young.
I remember my 13th birthday, how excited I was to finally be an official teenager. I couldn’t wait for my birthday that year. Until my cousin took the wind out of my sails by telling me my birthday that year was no big deal, it was just another day, like any other day. I would be the same, look the same, feel the same, I would just be one year older. I was mad at him for taking the shine off my 13th birthday, but he was right. It was just another day, like any other day. It was only special to me, but I looked the same, sounded the same, felt the same, was the same, except I was another year older.
From that year on, my birthdays never really bothered me. The number of years celebrated was just that, a number. My younger brother’s birthday’s didn’t bother me either. Besides, I don’t care what his number is, he never ages in my mind. My (baby) sister’s birthdays make me feel older than my own.
I was always convinced no matter how many years had passed from the day I was born, I would never be “too old” to wear blue jeans and tees. The day I got ‘too old’ for jeans would be the day I was just too old. So, come next Saturday, as the country gears up to celebrate our nation’s birthday, I will be celebrating yet another year survived, another year put between me and 40.
And I will be celebrating in blue jeans and a tee shirt.
By MsBatman, on June 19th, 2010  I guess if I was pressed to come up with a good thing to come from losing my entire blog history last week it would have to be that I can recycle ideas and posts and nobody (well, mostly nobody) will know. Ok, and I guess if I had to come up with another good thing to come of losing my history, it would be that while I’m recycling post ideas, I get the opportunity to rewrite some posts, and hopefully write it better this time.
Kristine over at Random and Odd wrote a letter to her 20 year old self from her no longer 20 year old self. So, I’m stealing it, tweaking it, and making it my own.
Dear Me,
I know they tell you don’t talk to anyone from a different time, because you’ll jack up the time space continuum ala Back to the Future. I say, whatever. My life has been pretty jacked up with or without the time space continuum thingy, so I’ll take my chances.
When you’re 13, you will stand in front of a mirror and throw a temper tantrum (which includes throwing a brush) because your hair won’t lay the right way. Nobody, least of all your family, will understand the degree of anger and frustration you are feeling at that moment. Don’t worry, you are not a freak, it’s the first sign of BPD but nobody will know that for years. Just make a note of it.
The guy you meet in 9th grade.. the one who kissed you the night he met you? Yes, your best friend’s boyfriend. You will fall head over heels in what you think is love with him. You will make him the end all and be all of your world for far more than he deserves to be. Remember that first kiss? When his heart supposedly belonged to someone else? Remember that. He will break your heart over and over again. Oh, go ahead and marry him, he will be the father of your amazing utterly cool beyond worlds son. But never forget that he was cheating the night he kissed you.
Somewhere along the way, your self esteem gets trampled on and lost. Maybe it was the starting a new school freshman year. Going into high school where you don’t know a soul, especially when you need a bestfriend the most, is difficult. You will spend far too long looking for it in other people, wanting, believing you need their approval when in fact, all you need is you.
In college will meet a guy who wants to marry you. Lucky for him, you want to marry him too. By senior year, he will realize that he has to live his life for him and if you want to live that life with him, you had better keep up. To you it will look and feel like he just up and left you behind. You had made taking care of him your life and you were prepared to continue to do that for the rest of your life. He isn’t prepared to take care of you. He needs you to be his partner, his equal partner. Don’t worry about him, he comes back around later.
When you pick up his camera, pay close attention to how comfortable it feels in your hands, and exactly what you see through the view finder. Don’t be in such a rush to put it down and walk away. You have a talent, and it is unfair to you and those around you to keep it locked away for years until you happen to stumble over it quite by accident.
Just because a guy asks you to marry him doesn’t mean you have to say yes. Just because he is the father of your baby doesn’t mean he’s marriage material. Listen to your heart. When your standing there having doubts, listen. Who cares what everyone else thinks and says. It’s your life. Listen.
And that hold true years later when you meet a man on line and your brain tells you it is unlikely and impossible. Listen to your heart. The road will not be easy and your head will scream GIVE UP! WALK AWAY! and your heart will whisper “Stay”. Listen to your heart. He loves you. Trust that voice. Trust him.
Learn to believe in yourself. You sell yourself short all the time and that makes your life harder than it has to be. Believe in yourself. I know it’s hard for you, but he believes in you. Listen to him, he’s right. A lot.
You are a great mom. You do an amazing job. Don’t let the ex husbands try and convince you otherwise. They will do all in their power to undermine you, discredit you, make you doubt yourself and steal your children away from you. Don’t let them. You are a wonderful mom and your children deserve to be raised by you. Even your son. Especially your son. Don’t give up on him, and don’t let him give up on you.
If I had to give you one piece of advice it would be listen to your heart and shut out the world around you. Who cares what everyone says or thinks. Live your life by your own rules. Don’t let anyone steal your thunder. Believe in you.
You’re so worth it.
By MsBatman, on June 14th, 2010  The girls play a word game in the car on their way to their dad’s and home every other weekend. We like to call it RAILROAD.
The first girl spells railroad R-A-I-L-R-O-A-D.
The other spells a word that starts with the letter ‘D’.
Then the first spells a word that starts with the last letter of her word and so on and so on.
Last night, Tate (13) had given Newt (10) a ‘O’ word. So Newt spells OK. “Sister, you have a ‘K’ word”
Tate begged to differ. “OK is not spelled OK, it’s spelled O-K-A-Y.”
“No, it’s spelled O-K”
“A-Y” argued Tate.
And back and forth they went laughing until they were crying, tears running down their cheeks.
Newt finally got the last word in by saying “No, sister, I’m pretty sure O-K spells OK.”
Pretty hard to argue with that.
|
|
